


Night Terrors

by Vic32



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Emotional, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-06-02 00:55:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6543922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vic32/pseuds/Vic32
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post Ep 122 AU.  Her son's night terrors after the bashing force Jennifer to trust in Brian to help him heal.  Along the way, some surprises emerge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. . Reaching Out by

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> Thank you to my beta Predec2, could not have done this without you xx

 

 

The front door burst open and a blond blur ran down the hall before charging up the stairs, slamming the bedroom door.

Molly looked at her mom with concern. “Was that Justin?”

Looking toward the stairs, Jennifer sighed, worry creasing her forehead. “I think so. Stay here, sweetheart, and I’ll go check.”

Biting her lip, Molly nodded. “Mom, he looked upset. What happened, do you think?”

Smiling in an attempt to try and reassure her daughter, Jennifer tousled her hair affectionately. “Try not to worry, I’ll be back down as soon as I can.”

She nodded at her mother in acknowledgement, even though her worry was still great; she loved her brother, and hated to see him in pain.

Making her way up the stairs, with each step Jennifer became more and more nervous, wondering what had upset Justin. Since the bashing, it seemed that everyday something different could set off a reaction in her son.

 

Justin paced his room, tears streaming down his face and his breathing erratic. Running his fingers through his hair, he pulled it in frustration. The anger he felt was building and he felt like he was ready to explode. How could his mother ask Brian to stay away from him? How could she blame him for what had happened? The thought of being with Brian was the only thing that was keeping him going.

Hearing his mother's footsteps coming up the stairs set off the hurt and anger; trashing his room and seeing her face as she entered made it even worse. The betrayal he felt was too much, and when she put a hand on his shoulder he reacted by pushing her away and knocking her over.

Jennifer sat there, stunned that Justin would do such a thing. She knew why, and didn’t blame him, but it shocked her all the same. Stiffly rising to her feet, she could see in his eyes that he was sorry.

Talking gently, Jennifer stood a few feet away, knowing why he was angry with her. “Justin, I’m sorry,” she told him softly. “I...I thought I was doing the right thing. I will fix this, I promise.”

“Fix this, Mom?” Justin cried out. “I’m not some toy that you can glue back together! Leave me alone!” Her son shouted. Tears springing to her eyes, Jennifer tentatively reached out a hand toward her son before silently turning and heading back out into the hallway.

Molly stood up when her mom came back down. “What’s wrong with Justin? I heard shouting and banging. What’s going on?”

Standing by her daughter, Jennifer took her hand in hers to explain, “Justin is just upset with me over something that I did. There’s something I need to do. Will you look after him until I get back? Nana is next door if you need anything. Can you do that for me?”

Smiling proudly at being asked to look after her brother, Molly nodded. “Yeah, I can look after him; don’t worry, mom.”

Kissing her head gratefully, Jennifer left to try and mend her broken son. Justin was right; no ‘glue’ would fix this situation, but perhaps someone could.

 

Going to the kitchen, Molly took down a tall glass and filled it with cold milk and placed cookies on a plate. Smiling, she made her way up the stairs to Justin’s bedroom. He loved milk and cookies, so she hoped they would cheer him up. Finding the bedroom door open, she softly walked in, noticing her brother lying on the bed, his face stained with tears.

Approaching him closer, her heart sank as she observed the desolate look on his face. It broke her heart to see her brother in such pain.

Hearing footsteps and sensing someone near his bed, Justin opened his eyes to see his sister standing there, holding milk and cookies on an oval tray. Sitting up, he wiped his eyes; despite his extreme sadness, he couldn’t help giving her a tiny smile, “Hi Lolly.”

Smiling at the nickname her brother had given her years ago due to her love of lollipops when she had been just a toddler, she handed him the tray. “I brought you these to cheer you up. I know they always make you feel better whenever you have a bad dream.”

Justin placing the tray down beside him, taking a sip of the milk and a bite of a cookie before giving her a grateful smile. “Thank you, Loll. You always know how to make me smile.”

Biting her lip, Molly hesitated for a moment before asking, “Justin, what happened? Why are you upset?”

Patting the bed so she could sit beside him, she curled into his side as Justin explained it to her.

 

Tears stung her eyes after hearing the story. Hugging her brother, Molly spoke softly, her voice full of emotion. “I’m so sorry that happened to you. it’s not fair. I like Brian; he was really nice to me.”

Looking at Molly confused, Justin asked, “He was? When was this?”

Wiping her eyes, Molly explained, “He called one day when you were asleep and Mom was next door at Nana’s. I was sitting on the steps when he arrived. He sat next to me, and asked if I was okay, and if I needed anything. He said that if I wanted to talk or something that I could call him any time. He gave me a card with all his numbers written on it, and a bracelet that he said would keep me safe whenever I got scared.”

Hugging his sister, Justin sighed as tears threatened to fall again. “Brian is really a good guy,” he told his sister softly. “He cares about us all in his own way.”

Her voice was small when she spoke again. “Do you love him?” She asked. “He loves you; I can tell. I don’t care that you like boys and not girls. It doesn’t matter who you love. I love you, Justin. You really are the best big brother anybody could have.”

Tears did fall now from his eyes as Justin replied, “I love you, too, Lolly. “And yes, I do love Brian. Very much.”

Placing the tray down on his bedside table, both brother and sister fell asleep, hugging each other and looking after one another as they had done so many times while growing up.

 

Jennifer made her way toward Brian’s loft, doing her best not to break down and cry. Seeing her son lose it so painfully broke her heart into a million pieces, and knowing there was nothing she could do to stop it made her feel so helpless.  
Maybe what she was about to do would be a step in trying at least. What she was about to do might be called an act of desperation, but she had to do something to try and help her son return to some semblance of normalcy.

Parking outside the building, Jennifer noticed it was one of the best loft buildings in Pittsburgh and the most expensive. Sighing, she made her way into the building and up to Brian’s floor.

She could hear muffled moans and grunts coming from behind the door as she neared it, causing her to rub her forehead and wonder if should she turn around and walk away, but she was determined to help her son no matter what.

Taking a deep breath, she raised her hand knocked decidedly on the steel surface, hoping she was doing the right thing.

Thankfully it didn’t take long for the door to open. But while she expected Brian would be the one to answer the door, she wasn’t prepared for him to appear totally nonchalant - and totally naked.

Gasping softly in shock - her eyes unable to avoid raking down his body briefly - she quickly raised her eyes to maintain eye contact with him above the waist before finding her voice to explain, “I need to talk to you about Justin”

Nodding, Brian bid his trick goodbye as he gestured for her to come inside.

Pulling on some sweatpants, Brian finally spoke, “What is it about Justin you want to talk about?”

Glancing around the loft before speaking, she met his gaze as she stated, “I need you to take him.”

Looking surprised, Brian asked, “And do what exactly? Do you want me to fuck him?”

Holding his gaze and ignoring his crude response, Jennifer pondered that statement before finally nodding in resignation. “Do whatever it takes to make him better. He’s not doing well at home, and he...he...”

Brian noticed she kept rubbing her shoulder. Frowning, he asked, “Are you in pain?”

Sighing deeply, Jennifer nodded, “Yes, just a bit, I um, I fell against a closet.”

Walking over to her, Brian was blunt. “Did Justin lash out at you?”

Jennifer’s voice shook as she tried to defend her emotionally distraught son. “He didn’t mean to hurt me. He was having a meltdown, and I got in the way. It was my fault. I...I thought I could take care of him. I’m his mother,” she tried to explain, her eyes welling with tears. “But I...he needs more help than I can give him. I...I need your help.”

Pulling out a stool for her to sit on, Brian went to the fridge and brought her some water and a painkiller out of a pill container on the counter. “He still shouldn’t have lashed out at you,” Brian told her, his voice surprisingly soft. Sighing, Brian bit his lip as he considered her words. He knew this would not be some easy fix for Justin...or a short-term commitment on his part. “Okay. I’ll do what I can,” he told her, hearing Jennifer sigh in relief. “I’ll follow you back home and pick him up.”

Sipping her water as she tried to compose herself, a tear escaped her eye. “Thank you, Brian.” Taking a breath, Jennifer continued, “Please tell me what happened that night. Justin can’t remember, and I need to understand why he’s acting this way.” Daphne had told her what she could, but she knew that apart from her son, only Brian could supply the missing pieces of the puzzle regarding the Prom’s aftermath and what happened in the garage that night.

Closing his eyes and gripping the countertop so tightly with his fingers that they turned white, Brian took a deep breath before telling her, “You don’t want to know. Justin is lucky that he can’t remember.” He sucked in a ragged breath. “I wish I could forget.”

Squeezed Brian’s hand to make him look at her, Jennifer pleaded, “Please, Brian. Tell me. Was he happy at the prom? I need to know it all.”

Brian sighed with a nod. Moving over to the couch, Jennifer followed, sitting down next to him at an angle so she could look into his face.

He took a deep breath before beginning. “Justin was shocked when I showed up. I had told him that I was not going to come.” He shook his head. “I’m still not sure why I did,” he admitted. “But when he saw me, his face broke out into this huge smile, and I could feel everyone’s eyes on us when I walked over to him and Daphne. I complimented Daphne on how beautiful she looked, and she blushed.” He smiled slightly in remembrance as he told Jennifer, “I asked if I could borrow her date, and she nodded. When I pulled him onto the dance floor, they changed the music to some hokey song, and all of a sudden there was this spotlight on us. I felt like we were the only ones there,” he revealed to her as Jennifer listened in fascination, but also some dread, because she knew the night had not ended the way it had begun. We had the dance floor to ourselves. Justin’s face...God, he was so beautiful that night,” Brian recalled, his eyes taking on a faraway look on his remembered how magnificent Justin looked in his tux; he had taken his breath away. I led him around the room...and then we kissed right there in the middle of the dance floor,” he told her, inexplicably feeling a little awkward talking about this in front of Justin’s mother. But she wanted to know it all. “I’d never seen anyone so happy,” he told her, taking another deep breath.

“I led him back to my Jeep after the song was over to say goodbye.” He could see it all again in his mind’s eye as he stared straight ahead. “We were both kind of goofing off, dancing in circles and singing that stupid, old song until we got to the Jeep.” Brian paused, licking his lips that were suddenly quite dry. “He told me it was the best night of his life. I joked about how ridiculously romantic it all was before I kissed him goodbye.” He remember how oddly hesitant he had seemed then. How he had felt things he had never felt before.

“He started to walk away...but then he turned around and smiled at me, and I told him later that I knew right then why Debbie calls him Sunshine.” Pausing again, he squeezed his eyes shut, wondering how he was going to get through what he had to tell her next. Even now, it was like reliving it all over again. “I got into the Jeep, and glanced in the rearview mirror to see him walking away. I...I saw Hobbs coming up behind Justin with a bat in his hand.” He swallowed hard. “I jumped out of the Jeep and yelled at Justin to try and warn him, but I wasn’t fast enough.” He winced as the pain lanced through him as he recalled that horrible time. “For as long as I live, I’ll never forget the sound that bat made, or seeing Justin falling down onto that concrete floor.”

Jennifer’s water-filled eyes reflected Brian’s horror as he took another deep breath before telling her, “I hit Hobbs with the bat, hoping to keep him from leaving the scene, then I held Justin in my arms and just kept screaming ‘no’ over and over again. Brian’s face crumpled as he spoke almost in a daze now. “His blood was everywhere. I don’t even remember getting into the ambulance with him. But when he flatlined on the way to the hospital and they had to revive him, I thought my own heart would stop, too.” He closed his eyes briefly; when he opened them again, they were glistening with regret and guilt. “I wasn’t fast enough to prevent it. I failed him.”  
He shook his head as Jennifer reached over to grip his shoulder, trying to comfort him. “I should have never come...or I should have stayed there with him until it was over. But he came with Daphne...and I didn’t want to take away that.” He laughed in irony. “I thought I was coming there to make a point. But it ended up being a lot more than that.”

Looking at Jennifer now, the tears fell freely from his eyes as he vowed, “I promise you that I won’t fail him again; I’ll help anyway that I can.”

Jennifer still wasn’t convinced that Brian was the best person for her son, but as she looked at the pain clearly showing on the older man’s face, she couldn’t help feeling sympathy for him. She pressed her lips firmly together. “Brian, it wasn’t your fault; I realize that now. I...I’m sorry I ever said that. It was Hobbs and his twisted mind and his hatred, plain and simple. Okay?”

Grateful for her understanding, but not quite sure he still wasn’t at least partly at fault, he nodded silently at her before the two rose from the couch to head out the door to go find Justin and bring him back to the loft.


	2. No Greater Love

Brian slid behind the driver’s seat of his Jeep as he followed Jennifer’s vehicle back toward the Taylor house, his mind on what he would be facing with Justin, while Jennifer gripped the steering wheel of her own vehicle tightly as she blinked away tears that were threatening to fall. 

What Brian had given her details about what had happened the night of her son’s prom, initially she had felt happiness for Justin, smiling at the thought of how much pleasure he must have been experiencing that night; but what happened afterward in the parking garage had made her stomach churn almost to the point of nausea. She could tell by the haunted, pained look in Brian’s eyes that he was still hurting just as badly as Justin, just in a different way. 

Brian’s stomach was also presently in knots, wondering how he was going to handle the situation. One thing was certain: he was damn sure that he was going to do everything in his power to make sure he helped Justin as best he could. Reliving that night and telling Justin’s mother what had happened had made bile rise in his throat and make him feel like vomiting; he hadn’t been lying when he had said that he wished he could forget about that night. 

Parking both the car and the Jeep, they paused at the front steps. Jennifer took Brian’s hand in hers, making him look at her and giving him a smile as she told him, “Everything will be fine. It has to be.” She wasn’t sure how convinced she was of that, but she knew somehow that she needed to provide reassurance to this young man who was also still hurting over what had happened that night. “Brian...I can’t thank you enough for helping us.”

Giving Jennifer a small smile in return, Brian gave her hand a slight squeeze. “I’m not sure what I’m going to do...but I’ll do my best.” That was one credo he always followed, whether it was in business or in his personal life. Doing anything half-assed was not in his vocabulary. 

Going up the steps and into the house after letting go of his hand Jennifer smiled at him once more, “That’s all any of us can do”

The house was quiet when they entered through the front door, sensing that all the rooms downstairs were empty. Jennifer nodded with her head toward the stairs. “They must be up in Justin’s room. Molly always looks after him when he’s upset.”

Gazing up the stairs, Brian sighed wistfully. “She must be a very good sister to him.” In a rare reference to his own family, he added softly, “I wish that I had a family like you and Molly.”

Jennifer looked at him sadly - wanting to know more, but sensing that Brian was more focused on trying to help her son at the moment, and not wanting to pry - as they silently made their way up the stairs together, filing that intriguing piece of information away for another time. She didn’t think about how ironic that she would be turning for help to someone whose own family life had apparently been quite different than hers. 

Just as she thought, they found the two siblings in Justin’s bedroom, lying on his bed with Molly hugging him protectively as he slept. 

Looking up as she felt someone at the door, Molly smiled sadly while Justin stirred slightly in his slumber. Rubbing his head to calm him, Molly spoke softly so as not to wake him, a relieved look on her face. Even though she had only had a little interaction with this other man, she somehow knew that he would watch over her brother, just like she was trying to do. “Brian. You’re here to take Justin and look after him?” 

Brian nodded soundlessly, questioning if he really recognized the ramifications of what he was about to do. It didn’t matter, though; all he knew right now was that Justin was hurting, and he needed to do something to alleviate that hurt. 

Molly nodded in relief as she whispered to him, “Please hold him like this if he gets upset in his sleep and rub his hair; it helps calm him down.” Looking at her brother, a tear fell from her eye as she explained protectively, “I love him, and It’s not fair that someone did this to him, just because he likes boys.”

Brian’s heart inexplicably lurched over her words as he walked over toward the bed. Placing a hand on her shoulder and crouching down to her level, he whispered back, his voice choked with emotion, “No, It’s not fair. And I promise that I will remember what you said...and do whatever I can to help make him better.” 

A watery, grateful smile filled Molly’s face as she studied this man she really didn’t know at all, but somehow sensed that he had her brother’s best interests at heart - and that he really did care about her brother like she did. “I really like you, Brian; thank you,” she responded simply as he nodded, keeping her voice low so as not to disturb her brother. 

Pushing her hair behind her ear, Brian smiled back. “I really like you, too,” he told her. “And I think that you are the best sister in the world.” He paused for a moment before adding, “I wish that I had a sister just like you.”

Molly nodded, blushing over his compliment as she gently unwound her arms from around her brother’s slim frame. Take great care to slide out of bed without waking him, Molly hugged Brian after standing up, placing a shy kiss on his cheek. “I can be your sister, too...if that’s okay.” 

Jennifer blinked back tears as she stood remaining in the doorway, listening to their exchange. Her impression of this man who had captured her son’s heart so firmly was continually changing. He was quite the enigma, she decided. 

Hugging Molly back, Brian’s heart swelled. “I’d love that, Molly. Thank you.”

Walking over to her mother, Jennifer placed her arm on her daughter’s shoulder as they watched Brian slip into bed and lie down facing Justin. They watched in amazement as Justin automatically snuggled in his sleep into Brian’s embrace. 

Holding him close, Brian glanced over at mother and daughter with a smile and a nod before they turned and left the room to give them some privacy. 

Looking at the blond in his arms, Brian swallowed the lump in his throat at the pained expression on Justin’s face as he slept, praying that he wouldn’t get this wrong, and that Justin would be okay. He wasn’t naive, though. He knew there would be no easy fix to what Justin - and he - had experienced that night. But he owed it to Justin to at least try. 

Justin stirred restlessly as he spoke Brian’s name in his sleep, instinctively tightening his grip around Brian’s body as he burrowed his head into his chest. 

Kissing the top of his head, Brian rubbed his back, murmuring softly, “It’s okay. I’m here now; just rest awhile, then I’ll take you home with me.” Justin instantly calmed down at Brian’s words, a soft sigh escaping his lips as his warm breath ghosted across Brian’s skin. Feeling emotionally drained himself and reassured that Justin was now sleeping fairly peacefully, Brian closed his eyes and soon fell asleep as well, holding Justin protectively. 

An hour later, Molly crept back up to check on the pair, not hearing any sounds coming from her brother’s room. Walking up to his bedroom, she stood in the doorway, much like her mother had done before, silently watching them sleep. Smiling at the sight of Brian holding Justin closely in his arms - just like she had asked him to - she moved away from the doorway and made her way back downstairs, leaving them to rest awhile longer. 

 

It would be another hour before Justin slowly awoke - or was he still dreaming? His eyes fluttering open, he was surprised to recognize the comforting scent of Brian’s cologne, and feel a pair of familiar arms wrapped around him like a cocoon. His voice hoarse from sleep and from his earlier crying, Justin whispered in relief, “Brian.”

Hugging Justin tighter to him and not realizing that the younger man was now awake, he replied softly, “Shh...it’s okay; I’m here.”

Nuzzling his face in Brian’s chest, Justin had to make sure he really wasn’t dreaming. “Brian, are you really in my bed; in my mother’s house?”

Rubbing his chin on the blond’s head as he realized Justin was now awake, Brian couldn’t help chuckling. “Well, Sunshine, you’re always in my bed so, it’s only fair that you have to share, too; don’t you think?”

Pulling back but not letting go, Justin peered into Brian’s hazel eyes with a soft smile. “Very true; it’s only fair. May I ask what ARE you doing in my bed? Does my mom and Molly know you’re here?” Knowing Brian, he wouldn’t have put it past him to find a way to sneak in when they weren’t aware. 

Nodding as he rubbed his hands up and down Justin’s back, he confirmed to Justin’s surprise, “Yes they know. Your mother came to see me, and asked me to come. You’re going to stay with me for a bit.”

Sitting up in astonishment, Justin looked down at him in stunned panic. “I am? Is it because I lost it and trashed my room?” His face flushed in horrified realization as he cried out, “Oh, shit! I pushed my mom and hurt her! Is that why she’s sending me away? I swear, I didn’t mean it! I’d never hurt her intentionally, Brian  
! You’ve got to believe me!” Tears began to stream down his face in shame, and his breathing quickened as he relived what he had done. He loved his mother. How could he have done that to her? 

Rubbing Justin’s back again, Brian sat up beside him, quickly explaining, “No, that’s not the reason. Your mother knows that it was an accident. She just wants you to get better... and she thinks you will do better with me.”

Astonished over his mother’s decision, Justin couldn’t speak as he curled into Brian’s arms and stayed there until the tears stopped and his breathing was under control.

Brian continued to stroke his back soothingly until Justin was calmer, eventually suggesting, “Now why don’t I help you pack up some of your things you’ll need, and we can get going, okay?” 

 

A few minutes later, he took one last look around his room, satisfied that he had everything he needed for the time being, before he made his way downstairs, clutching Brian’s hand as they descended to the first floor together. 

Hearing their footsteps, Jennifer and Molly stood as the two boys came into the living room. His mom was the first to speak. “Justin, do you have everything you need?”

Nodding, Justin replied, “I think so.” He wanted to say so much more to his mother, but he somehow couldn’t find the words to convey the gratitude he felt toward her for what she was doing - and for entrusting his care to a man whom he knew she didn’t quite trust herself. But it spoke volumes to him about his love for her. 

Molly ran over to her brother, hugging him. “I’ll miss you around here. But Brian said that he would look after you for me.”

Wrapping his arms around his sister, Justin glanced over at Brian with a smile as he kissed her head. “He will, Lolly; don’t worry.”

Molly nodded as they finally pulled back, Justin bestowing a gentle smile on her before he went over to his mother to say goodbye.

“Mom…I’m...” He wasn’t really sure where to begin.

She shook her head as if she understood. “It’s okay, Honey. I...I just want you to get better, okay?” 

Justin nodded his head, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I...I love you, Mom,” he choked out at last.

Jennifer blinked back tears of her own as she smiled at him tenderly. “And I love you. I’ll see you soon, okay? And call me.” 

Justin nodded before turning to Brian, who reached his hand out to grasp his. Picking up one bag while Brian picked up the other, the two turned and headed toward the door, mother and daughter watching from the porch as they placed Justin’s things in the back of the Jeep and slowly drove away. 

Jennifer stood there, wondering if she had made the right decision, but hoping that while she would feel the loss of her son’s presence deeply, this would also be a new beginning for him on his way toward healing.


	3. A Visit from Sonny Boy

Justin had been at the loft for over an hour now, and Brian had already put away all of Justin’s clothes and placed his other belongings on empty shelves that he had cleared before leaving earlier that day. Looking up, he saw the blond sitting on the couch, appearing very lost.

Sensing he was being watched, Justin looked up to see Brian looking concerned. Giving the older man a smile, Justin tried to reassure him. “I’m fine, Brian. I think I’m just trying to stop my head from spinning. I didn’t expect all this to happen, you know.”

Walking over to the couch, Brian sat next to Justin, taking one of his hands in his. “My head is spinning as well, but we’ll get through this, one day at a time, right?”

Holding on tight to the hand in his, Justin smiled, ducking his head. His voice was soft and low as he replied, “Yeah, one day at a time.”

The sound of their stomachs rumbling made them laugh. Standing up, Brian went and got a few of the take-out menus he had in one of the kitchen drawers and held them up, asking, “So what will it be? Chinese, Thai, or pizza?”

Deciding on Chinese, they ordered and waited, relaxing in each other's arms until the food arrived.

Brian didn’t sleep a wink that first night. He watched as Justin fought his nightmares; no, it was more like night terrors all night as he whimpered and cried in his sleep. Brian heard that you should never wake someone suddenly, so all he could do was hold his partner and pray it was enough until he could figure out a better way to help him.

Managing to get a few hours sleep, Brian woke to blue eyes looking back at him. Smiling, he reached out and pulled Justin into his arms, whispering, “Morning Sunshine.”

Melting into Brian’s embrace, Justin let out a breath he didn’t know that he was holding. “Morning, Brian.”

Rubbing his hands up and down Justin’s back, Brian asked carefully, not wanting to upset him, “Do you remember the nightmare from last night?”

Shaking his head, Justin’s voice shook as he replied, “No, not the one last night. I only remember some of them. If I kept you awake, I can sleep on the couch...or get a room at Deb’s.”

Pulling back so he could look into Justin’s eyes and using his free hand, Brian rubbed his hand through Justin’s hair. “No, Justin, you didn’t keep me awake. And you’re going to stay right here where I can look after you.”

Smiling with tears in his eyes, Justin leaned in and kissed Brian tenderly, whispering against his lips, “Thank you.”

Melting back into Brian’s embrace, they stayed that way until the alarm went off, signalling the day was about to begin. A few minutes later, they sat at the table, eating breakfast after separate showers; sadly Justin wasn’t ready for more just yet. Brian fully understood, and more than once reassured Justin that it was perfectly normal.

Setting his cup and bowl in the sink, Brian turned to Justin. “So, I’ll drop you off at rehab and I will get a few hours in the office; then I’ll pick you up and finish from home. Do you need to do anything after your rehab?”

Shaking his head, Justin placed his cup and bowl in the sink with Brian’s. “No, not today, but I will by the end of the week. I might need more art supplies.”

Nodding, Brian smiled as he peered at his watch. “Not a problem. Let's go before the traffic gets even more of a bitch.”

 

Sitting at his desk, Brian could not concentrate. Justin’s face and his cries as he slept so fitfully last night kept running through his head. Thankfully he was interrupted by a knock on his door.

Raising his head from his hands, he beckoned his visitor in.

Cynthia came in with a smile on her face. “I have some visitors for you; ones that will definitely cheer you up,” she promised. 

Brian was just about to say he wanted to be left alone when he heard the sounds only his son made, and a smile instantly spread over his face.

Lindsey and Gus came in and Brian immediately took his son into his arms, placing a kiss on his cheek. “Hey there, Sonny Boy!”

Looking at Brian with concern, Lindsey observed, “You look terrible! Did you get any sleep last night?”

Sitting beside her on the couch in his office as he held his son close, Brian shook his head, sighing deeply. “No, not really. Justin had what I can only call night terrors all night. It was horrible, and all I could do was hold him. I don’t know what to do, Wendy,” Brian confessed, addressing Lindsay by her nickname.  
.  
Rubbing his back and responding in kind, Lindsay reminded him, “You are doing something, Peter; just being there for him, looking after him, is what he needs right now.”

Looking into her eyes, Brian leaned his head against hers. “I just hope that it's enough,” he whispered. 

Hugging his son, Brian prayed nothing like this would ever happen to his little boy. He vowed he would die before that happened, and that went for Justin as well. Nothing or nobody would touch him ever again.


	4. Crisis at the Poker Game

Justin was worn out from hours of rehab. There had been a slight set back during the day's session, but that all drained away when he saw Brian waiting for him in the lobby when he came out.

Brian saw a sullen-looking Justin coming towards him, but as soon as they locked eyes the surly look was replaced by the sunshine smile that would brighten anyone’s darkest days.

Walking over to Brian, Justin was rewarded with a soft kiss, which earned them an audible ‘awww’ from those who observed it.

Laughing now, Brian took Justin’s hand in his, leading him to the car. Once they were seated inside, he turned to the blond, asking, “How did it go?”

Shaking his head sadly, Justin glanced at Brian as he replied truthfully, “Not very well. I had a bit of a set back. My hand started trembling, and it took a long time before it stopped. They think now that I have a pinched nerve or something, and told me that massaging it with heat might help.” He paused for a moment, suddenly feeling awkward as he admitted, “During during the counselling session, I...broke down.” He revealed, “They want me to consider taking an antidepressant.”

Pulling Justin into his arms, Brian kissed the top of his head, “How do you feel about that? And I can help you with the massage. We can pick up some oils to use.”

Melting into his lover’s embrace Justin let out a grateful sigh. “Thank you, that will really help. As for the medication, I’m not sure that I’m ready for that. I am already on anti-seizure and pain medication. I feel like a big pill box”

Kissing Justin’s head again, Brian held him close, “Whatever you decide, I’ll support you, Sunshine. How about we go to the diner for something to eat before picking up the oils, and then try out one of those massages? I think you might even like it,” he added with a smirk.

Hugging Brian and smiling into his chest, Justin blushed as he responded, “I’d like that, thank you,” and with one more kiss they set off for the diner.

 

Even though the diner was busy, Justin and Brian sat at their usual booth, waiting to give their order. It wasn’t long before Debbie spotted them.

Smiling at the boys, Debbie asked, “How is my favorite couple today? And Sunshine, how did you do at rehab?” 

Shaking his head, Justin gave her a sad smile. “Not so good today. It’s why we’re here,” he explained. “You always cheer us up.”

Kissing her Sunshine and Brian, Debbie tried not to cry after hearing that. “I’m glad that I can do that for you. You do the same for me, you know,” she told them. Pulling her pencil from behind her ear and pulled out her order pad from her apron. “So do you want your usual?”

Both boys nodded as Debbie took their order to the kitchen, doing the same for Emmett and Ted when they arrived and joined the other guys at their table.

Emmett noticed right away that something was very wrong with Justin. “Hey, honey! You need some Honeycutt magic?”

Sipping his water, Justin smiled, “I think you’re right Em. I sure could. It’s just been one of those days.”

Ted added, “I have an idea! Why don’t we have a poker night or something? I know you’re not ready for major crowds. So why not do something like this at one of our places?”

Brian gave Ted a thankful smile, replying, “I think that is a brilliant idea! Why don’t we get together tomorrow night at the loft?” he suggested. Turning to Justin, he asked, “What do you think?”

Justin smiled a real smile. “I say let’s do it! Thanks, guys.” Just then their food arrived, and the conversation turned to other topics.

 

Next Evening - Brian’s Loft

Brian had snacks and non-alcoholic drinks ready, and had even rented a real poker table for the night, much to Justin’s amusement. Brian just shrugged his shoulders, saying he wanted the night to be perfect for him. That earned him a toe-curling kiss just before the guys arrived.

The night was going very well, with lots of laughter and smiles. To everyone’s surprise, Justin won the first and second game, while Brian and Ted followed after that.

Sometime during the night, a funny look came over Justin’s face. Brian jumped into action, lowering Justin to the ground just in time.

Everyone peered over at them in shock and concern as the blond started to convulse uncontrollably.

Michael cried out, “Jesus, Brian! What is happening? Should we call an EMT or something?”

Nodding, Brian choked out, “Yeah, yeah, call 9-1-1!” because it was his longest seizure yet.

Once Justin stopped, Brian pulled him onto his lap, stroking his hair and whispering words of comfort. “It’s going to be okay; help is on the way.”

Justin groaned, leaning into Brian’s chest. “Wha-what happened?”

Kissing the side of his head, Brian struggled to keep his emotions in check so as not to frighten his lover as he told him softly, “You had another episode, but it’s going to be okay; help is on the way.”

Leaning more into Brian’s touch, Justin’s eyes widened as he realized, “I think that I forgot to take my medication today! I’m so sorry, I’m sorry,” he kept murmuring, his tears soaking Brian’s shirt they streamed down his cheeks. 

The guys watched in horror, worried about what had happened in front of them and very scared for their friend. Ted let the EMT people in as soon as they arrived, explaining what had happened.

Once loaded onto the stretcher, Brian took Justin’s hand for reassurance as questions were fired at him, explaining that Justin had neglected to take his prescribed medication. 

Michael touched Brian’s arm before they left. “Go with him. We’ll clean up and make sure the loft is secure, and then I’ll meet you at the hospital so I can bring you both home.”

Smiling at his best friend, Brian thanked him, emotion clearly heard in his voice. “Thanks Mikey.”

They all stood watching as Justin was wheeled out of the loft with Brian and the EMTs. They had never seen the results from the bashing, and it scared the shit it of them over how bad it apparently was.

 

Thankfully, after a few hours of bed rest and some tests, Justin was given the all-clear at the hospital, along with a lecture about taking his medication properly. Brian reassured them that it would not happen again.

Just as he had promised, Michael was there, waiting to take the two boys back home. Most of the drive was spent in silence, which was welcome after the extremely emotional night they had all experienced. 

Brian and Justin didn’t hesitate going to bed as soon as Michael had dropped them off and they had entered the loft, spending the night wrapped in each other's arms and sharing the love they felt for each other.


	5. Bonding with Gus:  The Best Medicine

Brian woke first with Justin still in his embrace. Leaning down, Brian kissed the side of his head, the scar from the bashing not visible any more to anyone else but to him; when he closed his eyes it was clear as day, and sent shivers down his spine every time.

A light knock on the door brought his attention elsewhere. Getting out of bed without waking Justin, Brian made his way toward the loft door, opening it to find Jennifer and Debbie standing there with tears in their eyes.

Putting a finger over his lips in a signal to be quiet, Brian led them to the kitchen.

Jennifer and Debbie glanced in the bedroom as they passed by to see that Justin was still sound asleep.

Covering one of Brian’s hands with hers, Jennifer asked, “What happened this time?”

His shoulders sagging with weariness, Brian replied, “He had quite a bad seizure, Justin thinks that he forgot to take his medication. I can’t see how, because he takes them like clockwork. I just don’t understand. We didn’t go out last night; we just had a poker night here with the guys, but no alcohol.”

Debbie leaned into Brian’s side and hugged him. “Son, it's not your fault, I can see those wheels turning in your head blaming yourself, so just stop it right now.”

Jennifer joined in hugging him, “Yes, stop it. I agree it's not your fault. Did Justin get sick or something during the day?”

Closing his eyes, Brian thought over the previous day and it hit him: Justin had gotten something he ate caught in his throat, and it had made him vomit just a bit; he had taken his pill just before that, so he must have brought that up along with the food.” 

Sighing, Brian opened his eyes as he recalled what had happened, shaking his head as he willed the tears not to fall.

Rubbing his back, Jennifer and Debbie reassured him, “There! You see, that must have been the reason.” Brian managed a weak smile of gratitude. 

“Don’t blame yourself; you’re doing a wonderful job looking after my son,” Jennifer told him softly. 

They stayed for a few minutes before leaving, checking on Justin once more and noticing that he was still asleep. Once they had left, Brian made a few phone calls. One was to Cynthia to inform her that he wouldn’t be in for the rest of the week. Thankfully there was nothing urgent that needed his attention. The call finished with her asking her boss to give Justin her best. She had a soft spot for the blond, because he could handle all of Brian’s moods and bullshit perfectly.

Justin woke just before eleven in the morning with a pounding headache; like always, Brian appeared promptly with a kiss and a painkiller.

Running his fingers through the golden hair, Brian smiled. “That should help, Sunshine; now you rest as much as you need.”

Taking Brian’s other hand and placing it over his heart, Justin smiled at him, his eyes shining back at him with love. “As long as I have you, I’ll be fine”

Once the pain killer kicked in, Justin slept for another an hour, getting out of bed and joining Brian on the couch.

Drinking some juice, Justin asked, “Shouldn’t you be at work by now? I hope I’m not the reason you stayed home.”

Taking a sip of his own juice, Brian placed his hand on Justin’s knee before replying, “No, I’ve taken the rest of the week off. I thought maybe we could take Gus to the park or something.”

Rubbing his head, Justin looked at Brian with watery eyes. “It’s my fault that you’re taking time off; I’ll be fine here, I swear. You don’t have to do that for me.”

Hugging Justin, Brian answered, “I want to look after you. Plus you would do the same for me, and don’t you deny it. So what do you say about taking Gus to the park?”

Leaning more into his lover’s hug, Justin nodded. “I’d really love that; thank you.”

Kissing Justin once more, Brian went and made the call to arrange for Gus to visit.

An hour later, Lindsay arrived with Gus with what looked like not only a diaper bag, but a duffel bag of clothes as well.

Raising an eyebrow upon seeing them, Brian asked, “What’s all that for?”

Handing Gus to his dad, Lindsay smiled. “I was hoping you could keep him for a few days. I think I’m getting a cold, and I don’t want him to catch it. Mel’s away visiting family.”

Holding his son close, Brian glanced at Justin, silently asking him if it was okay and receiving a nod in return. Brian kissed Gus, saying, “Of course. Any time. Isn’t that right, Sonny Boy?”

Sighing in relief Lindsey thanked them before hurrying out before they changed their minds.

Coming over to where Brian and Gus stood Justin smiled at the little boy, “Hey Gus, you doing OK”

Gus gave Justin a smile reaching out his tiny hands for Justin to take him in his arms.

Handing Gus over to Justin, Brian felt more love at the scene. His son loved Justin as much as he knew his son loved him.

Brian kissed both Justin and Gus to show without words what he was feeling.

Bouncing the little guy in his arms Justin spoke softly, “Hey Gus, you wanna go to the park with your daddy and me huh. We can have some fun there”

Giggling at Justin, Gus rubbing Justin’s cheeks and lips with his little fingers.

Just before leaving the loft Justin handed Brian his camera so they could take pictures saying, “You can never have enough of these”

Taking the camera Brian agreed kissing his lover, “What would I do without you sunshine”

Since it was a school day they had the playground to themselves. Sitting on the swing with his son on his lap Brian laughed at the happy giggles from Gus as he swung, with Justin snapping photos and videos as he did. A passer-by offered to take a group photo saying what a beautiful family they were.

Brian was worried about placing Gus in the baby swing since he was so little, but Justin came up with the wonderful idea of tucking his baby blanket around him to make him more secure and it worked.

This time while Justin pushed Gus on the swing Brian took the photos and videos of them playing. It warmed his heart to see the two most important people in his life so happy.

Next in the playground came the slide after going up and down a few times with Gus they took turns going down without him Brian had to sit from laughing so much.

Sitting next to Brian with Gus now back in his arms Justin smiled asking, “What’s so funny”

Gesturing with his hand to the play area Brian replied, “This, all of this, who would have thought that Brian fucking Kinney would have this much fun and it not involve Babylon or a bed”

That made Justin laugh even more bouncing Gus on his knee, “Yeah, well your son is a lot of fun to hang out with”

Leaning in kissing Justin, Brian looked into Justin’s eyes, “You are a lot of fun as well my sunshine”

Looking at his son’s happy face Brian was sure that doing this today had been the right choice and they had the photos and videos to look back on together for a lifetime.


	6. MacGuyver to the Rescue!

It was evening time by the time they made it back to the loft. They stopped at a restaurant by the park for some dinner, and thankfully they were kind enough to heat Gus’s bottle and warm some food in the microwave for him.

After taking off his coat, Brian lifted Gus from his stroller before removing his son’s coat and hat, giving his son a kiss on the cheek. He handed the stroller, coats, and hat to Justin to put away in the closet as his partner turned to ask, “So what do we need to do now?”

Hugging his son close, Brian replied, “We need to give Sonny Boy a bath and find somewhere for him to sleep, because it looks like Linds has forgotten his travel cot.”

Thinking for a moment, Justin asked, “Do you have a drawer, and some blankets I can use?”

Giving Justin a funny look Brian asked, “Why the fuck would you need that for? Who do you think you are, Sunshine? MacGyver?”

Rolling his eyes, Justin laughed. “No, I’m not MacGyver; it's to make Gus a bed.”

Looking unconvinced, Brian jiggled his son in his arms as he replied, “You’re going to stick my son in a drawer?” 

Justin grinned, amused by the horrified look on Brian’s face. “Yep, my mom used to do it in emergencies when Molly and I were little and we were visiting our grandparents.” 

Brian smirked. “No wonder you turned out the way you did.”

“Brian…”

“Okay, okay; hold Gus and I’ll see what I can come up with.” 

 

To Brian’s amazement, Justin, did in fact, make a very comfortable-looking bed for Gus.

Shaking his head in disbelief, Brian hugged Justin as he told him, “You’re amazing; I think you really could give that MacGyver guy a run for his money.” Justin had arranged the blanket inside the drawer into a snug, makeshift bed for his son that would fit him perfectly. “Thank you for doing this; maybe tomorrow we can go shopping for a proper bed for him for the times when he stays here for longer periods.”

Kissing both Brian and Gus, Justin agreed, happy that he had made Brian smile his warm, open smile that people rarely had the privilege to see.

Looking around, Justin then asked, “So, how are we going to give Gus a bath? The sink will be too cold, and the shower might scare him.”

Shifting his feet and looking embarrassed, Brian cleared his throat. “Uh...have something to show you. It’s a special storage space, and if you ever tell anyone, just remember that I will have to kill you.” 

Justin frowned, but he was totally unafraid of Brian’s empty threat. “Okay...you have my attention,” he told him, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at the solemn look on Brian’s face. Justin nodded as he held up one hand in a type of Boy Scout vow. “I promise I won’t breathe a word of it.”

Walking over to what Justin thought was just a built-in bookshelf, Brian pulled a book halfway out, making the shelf swing open to reveal a storage closet filled with everything a baby could ever need, including a baby bath.

Justin’s mouth dropped open; he was shocked that Brian would ever know what to get for a baby. “Wow, Brian, you have everything here! This is incredible!”

Shrugging his shoulders as he tried to brush off the compliment, Brian peered affectionately at his beautiful, content son as he explained, “I didn’t want Gus to ever want for anything while he was here. I just wanted to be prepared in case I was entrusted to have him for more than one night. They haven’t let me yet. It’s why I never thought to buy any type of bed for him...but we will fix that tomorrow,” he vowed. 

Once again, Justin kissed Brian, his eyes shining with pride as he assured him, “You are an amazing dad; you know that he’s very lucky to have you.”

Looking into Justin’s eyes, Brian had a lump in his throat in reaction to Justin’s confidence in him. “Thank you,” he told him sincerely. “That means a lot to me.”

Justin helped retrieve the bath, towels, shampoo, soap, and powder, along with some clean clothes and a diaper in readiness for Gus’s bath time.

Hands on his hips, Justin bit his lip thoughtfully. “Well, he has everything he needs for a bath now; but how do we make sure the water temperature is right for him, and it’s the right depth?”

Pointing to the bath, Brian told him, “There’s a fill line and temperature gauge that tells you if it’s too hot or too cold.”

Justin interrupted him with a smirk. “So it's must be a Goldilocks bath, then.”

Looking curiously at him, Brian replied, “A Goldilocks bath?”

Laughing now at Brian’s perplexed look, Justin waved a hand as he explained, “It's not too cold, and it's not too hot; it's juuuust riiight.”

Shaking his head and laughing now in understanding, Brian replied, “You are a twat, you know that?” He shook his head in amusement as he peered over at the blond. “Well, you certainly fit the Goldilocks name, all right.” 

“Ha, ha. Now answer the question...Dad.”

Brian grinned. “We can use the pull-out sprayer attached to the faucet.” 

“Good idea,” Justin had to admit. It turned out to be easier than Justin had expected as they had the bathtub filled in short order, the temperature gauge in the tub making sure the temperature was ideal for Gus. Justin was impressed, thinking that all baths should have them.

Gus loved the bath, kicking his little legs and smacking his hands in the water to send bubbles into the air that made him giggle. Seeing Gus so happy as he splashed about in the water made the guys laugh, and of course Justin had to seek out Brian’s camera to take photos of a bubble-covered Gus and Brian.

The baby towel had a hood made of some extremely soft material, making Justin wish he had one like it attached to his sweatshirt. Of course, that meant more cute pictures of dad and son looking really happy.

No sooner was Gus settled in his makeshift bed than he was sound asleep.

Looking at each other, they silently decided they needed sleep as well. After changing into some comfortable sweats, they slid into bed, tired from the day’s activities. Wrapped in each other's arms, they were asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillows.

 

Justin knew as soon as the dream started what was coming, and there was nothing that he could do to stop it from happening. 

‘He found himself in a concrete maze, with the only light coming from the dim skylights along the way. Making his way down the stretch of walkway as he tried to find an exit, the shadows cast on the walls made him more and more nervous. He could hear footsteps, but from the echo that sounded he couldn’t tell if they were coming from behind him or in front of him as they became louder and louder. Feeling like the walls of this maze from hell were closing in on him, he heard a sound like thunder as his heart beat faster and faster. Unable to stop it from happening, it was almost like he was an involuntary observer as the familiar voice that haunted his night terrors spoke. “Come out, come out, wherever you are, Justin fucking Taylor,” it taunted him in a sing-song voice. “I need to do the world a favor, and finish the job I started at the prom.”

Feeling someone behind him, Justin turned around in dread to see Chris Hobbs standing there with an evil smile on his face like a distorted Cheshire cat from Alice In Wonderland. Rooted to the spot, Justin watched in horror as Chris raised the bat and swung it high over his head, saying, “Night, night, sleep tight,” laughing evilly just before the bat connected with Justin’s head with a sickening crack as Justin woke up, gasping for breath.

Brian woke to the sound of Justin desperately trying to breathe, his eyes wild as he rapidly panted in and out in an attempt to gain some much-needed oxygen, sweat beaded on his brow. 

Jumping into action, Brian went and grabbed a paper bag to help Justin get his breathing back under control.

Rubbing his back soothingly, Brian watched as Justin breathed in and out of the paper bag before he threw it onto the bed and burst into tears, burying his face in Brian’s chest.

Continuing to rub his back, Brian whispered, “Shh, It’s okay. It was just a dream, you’re safe. Do you want to talk about it?”

Nodding into the chest of his lover, Justin told Brian every horrifying detail of the terror that had shaken him so badly in his dream. It made Brian shiver, and hold Justin even closer as a tear escaped his eye at the pain this brave, young man was having to endure.

Soon after the crying stopped, Justin drifted off to sleep, feeling safe in Brian’s arms.


	7. Bed Shopping of a Different Kind

Justin woke to the sound of Gus’s laughter and happy, cooing noises. Getting out of bed, he made his way towards the direction of the sound. Right there in the living room area of the loft, playing on the floor, were Brian and Gus.

Gus was lying on a playmat, peering up at a mobile with suspended objects of all colors and shapes. He was happily kicking and pulling at them, while giggling at his reflection in the mirror that was mounted on the side of it.

Glancing up, Brian saw that Justin was standing there watching them play. With a smile on his face, he asked, “How long have you been standing there?”

Leaning against the wall, Justin pushed off it, moving closer to the happy pair. “Not long. You look like you guys are having fun.”

Shaking his head as he jingled one of the toys for his son, Brian responded in amazement, “I don’t know how kids have this much energy at this hour of the morning. It’s not...natural.”

Crouching down next to them now and receiving a smile from Gus, Justin laughed, “I know what you mean. I need coffee to start my day...or a kiss from you would do,” he answered slyly.

“Thanks...I think,” Brian remarked as Justin smiled. Leaning closer, Brian kissed Justin soundly, earning a gasp from the blond, “There you go Sunshine. Now you can start your day, but I still need MY coffee.”

Giving Brian one more kiss and a peck of the cheek for Gus Justin bounced into the kitchen area to make the coffee and some breakfast for them all. It was like the terror of the night had never happened.

Gazing down at his son and running his fingers over the soft hair of his little head, Brian spoke softly to him. “You looking forward to getting a new bed, and some other cool stuff for your area of the loft, Sonny Boy?” 

Brian never knew how much fun it could be to hang out with his son, or the depth of the love he would feel.

Once breakfast was done and everyone had donned their coats, hats, and gloves, they set out to hunt for some perfect furniture for a perfect little boy.

Walking side by side with Brian as he pushed the stroller,, Justin playfully bumped their shoulders together, asking, “So you have any idea of the best place to look for it?”

Nodding, Brian glanced at Justin as he replied, “Yeah, it’s a shop called Charles Day Boutique. It’s got a strong reputation for being high quality.”

Pausing at the crosswalk, Justin replied, “Sounds like a very expensive, high-end store”

“Boutique.” 

“Huh?” 

“It's not a store, Sunshine. It’s a boutique,” Brian corrected him.

Justin’s lips curved into a smile as he linked his arm with Brian’s, “Oh right. I’m sorry, Boutique, then.”

“And of course, it’s high-end,” Brian confirmed. “You were expecting something less?” 

Justin grinned. “I don’t feel a need to answer that question; it would be redundant.” 

 

 

Once they arrived at the Charles Day Boutique, it did indeed look very high-end; so much so that someone had to buzz you in so you could even enter. 

They were greeted by a very friendly looking, refined lady. “Hello, gentlemen! I’m Kimberly. May I help you, or would you like to browse around first?”

Shaking hands with Kimberly, Brian replied as Justin did the same. “We’ll just look around first; thanks.”

Smiling at the boys, Kimberly waved a hand at them. “No problem. I’ll be around if you need anything, or have any questions.” The two men nodded as she turned and discreetly headed toward the rear of the store. 

The place had so much stuff in all shapes colors and sizes, Brian wanted something light in color in keeping with what they had in their home.

Ambling around the store’s aisles, they picked up various items: a beautiful rug to go under the bed, and a wallhanging to go behind it. They also picked out a car seat to transport the little guy when needed. As they came to the baby bed section, they looked at a few before it was as if a spotlight shone on the perfect one. Brian and Justin looked at each other as they studied the fine craftsmanship. Brian ran his hands over the smooth clean lines of the frame. The shade of white was perfect, and the elegant, cream bedding blended in well.  
,  
Looking at Justin with a smile, “I think this is the one; what do you think?”

Hugging Brian from the side, Justin nodded with a smile. “I agree, It's perfect. Do you think Gus will like it? 

“Well, there’s one way to find out,” Brian declared. “Why don’t we see what he thinks?” 

Kimberly happily agreed to their idea, showing the guys how to lower the sides to make it easer to place Gus inside. Lying on his back, Gus peered up at them and seemed quite comfortable in it, smiling as if signalling his agreement. 

As Gus lay in the crib, cooing away, Kimberly described the other features of it. “You can use it as baby bed in its current configuration until he is three or four years old. Then it converts to a toddler bed. The mattress is temperature controlled, and has a breathing monitor to warn you if your baby is having any trouble. It’s state of the art, and it’s one of the highest quality models available, and has an excellent safety rating.” 

Justin shook his head in amazement. “Wow, what a great idea. That would certain give Brian peace of mind.”

To his surprise as well as pleasure, Brian quickly corrected him. “Us. It will give US peace of mind.” 

Justin smiled back at him and nodded, touched by his gesture to include him. 

Brian reached to hold one of Justin’s hands in his as he told Kimberly, “I agree with my partner. We’ll take it; can it be delivered today?”

Smiling broadly, she nodded. “Of course! That is one of the features here that we take pride in. We can have it with you within the hour. They will also set it for you if you wish at no extra cost.”

Both men laughed as Brian reached down to remove his son from his new crib, Gus expressing his displeasure over being removed by fussing at his father and his face scrunching up with dismay from being removed from such a comfortable spot. But a little rubbing of his back, and some soothing words from his father soon helped to calm him down. 

Paying for the items with Brian’s gold American Express Card, they made their way back to the loft to decide where best to place everything.

To Brian and Justin’s amazement, two men from the furniture store DID arrive within the hour, and had everything set up perfectly; they made Gus’s section of the loft look like it had been there the entire time, and both couldn’t wait to see how Gus liked his new space.


	8. "Safe in Your Arms."

Justin was making lunch when Brian answered the phone; picking up, he heard a very croaky-sounding Lindsay on the other end of the line. 

“Hi Brian,” she greeted him in between coughs. “How is it going for you guys with Gus?”

Moving to sit by his son who was lying on the play mat, he replied, “Good. He’s doing fine. You, though, sound terrible, so I guess you did catch that cold after all.”

Sniffling into the phone, Lindsey replied, “Yeah. I feel like death warmed over, and I look like it, too. I’m not sure how much longer this will last, so you might have Gus longer. But I realized that I forgot to give you his travel bed. So if you and Justin want to come and get it, that might be a good idea.”

Wincing at how bad she sounded, but also concerned about a faint undertone of something Lindsay seemed to want to say, Brian frowned. “No, it’s okay; we bought him a crib for when he is here, I hope that we can have him a lot more in the future.”

Her mouth hanging open in disbelief LIndsay steeled herself for what she was about to say. “Really? You did? That’s great! As a matter of fact, Mel and I already talked about it, and we both think Gus needs to spend more time with both of you.”

Smiling at the news, Brian asked, “So, how is the Shewolf getting along with her family?”

The hesitation from the other end of the phone spoke volumes as LIndsay ignored the jibe. “Not good,” she reported. “They want her to move to Boston. There’s a big law firm trying to get her to sign with them.”

Brian leaned forward in his chair in concern. “Do you think she will? And if so, you’re moving with her? Because you are not taking my son away from me, Linds.”

Realizing this was the moment she had been building up to, she wondered how Brian would take it as she took a deep breath and dove in. “No. I’m not moving to Boston, and I am not taking your son from you. In fact, I’ve been offered a job teaching in art schools all around Europe. The contract will be for a few years, so I wanted to talk to you and Justin about taking Gus full time.”

Feeling shocked, Brian gripped the phone so tightly his knuckles turned white. “What? You, you WHAT? Are you serious?”

Coughing more, Lindsey replied, “Yeah, I am. Look, we can discuss this more when this darn cold is over, okay? In the meantime, please talk it over with Justin.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I will,” Brian promised her as he hung up the phone. He sat there stunned as he peered over at Justin and caught his eye. Justin could immediately tell something was up as he walked over to sit down beside him. “What’s wrong, Brian? Is Lindsay okay?” 

Looking pale, Brian shook his head in disbelief as he held the phone in his hands. “She just asked me if we could take Gus full time. Said she has the opportunity to teach art school in Europe, and that the Shewolf is been hunted by some big ass law firm in Boston. Since when did that become more important to them than my own damn son?” he asked, still in shock over what he had just heard. “What do we do?”

Justin flushed over the word ‘we,’ as he took one of Brian’s hands in his, prying the phone out of his other hand and setting it down on the table. “What do you want to do?” he asked softly.

Peering over at his son, Brian smiled, the decision obvious to him. “I want to take him, look after him, and love him. I want to give him things that my old man would have never done - and never did,” he revealed, although that wasn’t a big surprise to Justin. “What do YOU want me to do, Justin? You have to be in agreement here...since we would be raising him together.”

Kissing the back of Brian’s hand and his heart overflowing in reaction to Brian’s words, Justin smiled. “Of course I agree. There could be no other decision. I love Gus, and you’re stuck with me. So you have no other choice.” 

Smiling as he pressed his forehead to Justin’s, Brian whispered, “How did I get so lucky to meet and fall in love with you?”

Closing his eyes as he savored the comfort from his partner, Justin replied, “We’re both lucky,” he whispered. “But I like to think it was more like fate that brought us together under that lamppost that night. Like it was our destiny.” 

Whining as a signal that he was hungry, their attention was diverted then to Gus, as both men - with one last kiss - reluctantly pulled apart so Brian could feed his son, while Justin finished making their lunches.

 

Michael came to visit shortly after they finished lunch, carrying grapes of all things; explaining that he didn’t really know what to bring to Justin, since he was so allergic to flowers, but remembering that Justin had liked that particular kind of fruit. In a way, it was touching that Michael had remembered that, Brian decided..

Michael sat with his hands clasped in front of him as he asked, “You doing okay now, Justin? I was so scared the other night; I had never seen anything like that before,” he admitted, blinking back unexpected tears. “I...I thought that you were going to die,” he told him, barely above a whisper. 

Smiling at Michael, Justin reassured him, “I’m okay; don’t worry. We figured out why it happened. I threw up when I got something stuck in my throat,” he explained as Michael nodded in relief. 

Catching up for a bit longer, Michael had to leave to meet his mother for dinner; he didn’t have to tell either man that you did not keep Debbie Novotny waiting.

 

Later that night, Gus was sound asleep in his new bed, content. Brian was asleep as well, a ghost of a smile on his face, while Justin lay wide awake, afraid to close his eyes for fear of the night terrors that frequently invaded his dreams.

Halfway through the night Gus awoke, so Justin went to soothe him, picking him up and cradling him as he walked around, singing softly to him.

Somehow sensing his partner was no longer in their bed, Brian awoke to the faint sound of singing, frowning as he thought that maybe he had left the TV on, but he didn’t see any glow coming from the television, and his worry increased as he realized Justin was not beside him anymore. 

Sliding out of bed, Brian’s heart fluttered as he looked out into the living room area and observed Justin holding Gus as he walked around singing softly to him. He recognized the song as ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow,’ as he continued to listen for several seconds in astonishment, amazed by what a beautiful singing voice Justin had. 

Sensing that he was being watched, Justin looked over to see Brian watching him as he abruptly stopped in embarrassment, blushing at being caught.

Going over to the pair, Brian kissed Justin on the side of his head as he urged him, “Please don’t stop singing. You really have a beautiful voice. I didn’t even know that you could sing.”

Ducking his head, Justin’s face turned ever redder as he replied, “Thank you. I don’t normally sing, but my mom used to sing this to me as a baby when I got cranky. So I thought that it might work, and help Gus go back to sleep.”

Looking down at his son who was lying sleeping safely in his partner’s arms, Brian replied, “Well, looks like it worked, Sunshine. Let's put Sonny Boy to bed, so you can get some rest as well.” He noticed the lines of exhaustion apparent under Justin’s eyes. “You haven’t been sleeping very well, have you?”

Shaking his head, Justin sighed. “No, not yet; too afraid, I guess.”

Hugging his lover, Brian closed his eyes as he leaned in closer. “Let me protect you; I can hold you and watch over you while you sleep. I won’t let anything ever happen to you again.” 

Turning his head, Justin captured Brian’s lips in a sweet kiss. “Thank you, Brian. I love you.”

Cupping Justin’s face in the palm of his hand, Brian looked deep into his eyes, whispering back, “Love you, too, my Sunshine.”

Putting Gus back into his bed with a feather light kiss from the pair, they made their way back to bed where thankfully the terrors stayed away, at least for that night, as Justin lay secure within Brian’s arms.


	9. Rehab

The morning started like the last one, with the sounds of a happy baby. Today was rehab and counseling day, and it was possible that Brian might be asked to participate at some point.

Parking in front of the center, Brian gripped one of Justin’s hands in his, kissing the back of it. “You can do this.”

Looking at Brian, Justin bit his lip. “What if they want to see the two of us together? Will you come in and join me?”

Rubbing the back of Justin’s hand, Brian smiled. There was no hint of hesitation in his voice as he assured him, “You can count on me, Sunshine.”

Smiling, Justin leaned over, kissing Brian, before they exited the car, carrying Gus in his new car seat into the building.

Brian and Gus waited in the family waiting room while Justin underwent his rehab session, followed by his counseling session. Brian had really been sincere before; if he was called to participate, it would be difficult to relive what had happened, but for Justin he would do it. A few minutes later, what Justin thought would happen did: the receptionist asked Brian to step into the psychologist’s office to join their discussion, permitting Gus to accompany him. 

Sitting next to Justin with Gus on his lap, they faced the therapist and waited for him to begin. 

Introducing himself, the man smiled at Brian. “I’m Callum Harper, and you must be the famous Brian I hear so much about.”

Justin blushed as Brian smiled, shaking Callum’s hand. “That would be me,” he verified with a nod.

Looking at the baby on his lap, Callum couldn’t help but smile wider. “And this must be the equally famous Gus.”

Kissing his son’s head, Brian’s heart swelled with pride as he replied, “Yeah, this is my Sonny Boy.”

Opening the file on his desk, Callum began by explaining, “Okay. I asked to see both of you today, because you experienced it together. Justin has made a lot of progress since that day, but I have a suggestion to make. First, though, I want to know how you are doing, Brian.” The doctor knew that Justin hadn’t been the only one who must have been traumatized by the events that night. 

Dull sadness filled Brian as he cleared his throat and held his son tighter as if seeking solace from it. “I take it one day at a time; it’s not easy,” he admitted. 

Leaning forward, Callum clasped his hand on top of the desk as he peered over at him thoughtfully. “What do you find hard, Brian?” He quietly asked. 

Glancing at Justin, Brian then ducked his head as his voice filled with sadness. “Watching Justin struggle with night terrors, and not being able to do anything about them,” he replied his voice barely above a whisper. “Closing my eyes and seeing that night replayed over and over again. Remembering everything that happened, and being the only one who does, when all I want to do is to forget about it. It’s all my fault. If only I hadn’t...”

Justin gasped in dismay, clasping Brian’s hands in his as tears filled his eyes at the pain he could hear in his lover’s voice. “Brian, It’s not your fault! I wish you would believe that.”

Callum handed them tissues,asking, “Brian, why do you blame yourself for what happened that night?”

Hugging his son close as he continued to hold one of Justin’s hands, Brian explained in a choked-up voice, “If I hadn’t shown up at the prom...if I hadn’t kissed him, or danced in front of everyone there, Justin wouldn’t have had to suffer! He almost died because of what happened, all because of me!” He could feel Justin’s hand tighten in his. 

Taking a breath, Callum then asked quietly, “Did you hand Chris Hobbs the baseball bat?”

Frowning, Brian shook his head in disbelief that he wouldn’t even suggest such a thing. “No, I fucking did not!” he snapped.

Tapping his pen on the file and ignoring the venom in Brian’s voice, the therapist then asked, “Did you tell Chris where you were parked, that you were coming; did you give him any information at all?”

In a very angry tone, Brian replied, red with fury, “The fuck I didn’t! I would never do that, EVER! Are you out of your fucking mind?” His voice was so loud that Gus began to fuss in his, causing Brian to hold him against his chest and rocked him slightly back and forth until he calmed down. 

Staying neutral-faced, Callum sat back, pointing his pen at him. “Then you have nothing to blame yourself for. You didn’t make him target Justin. It was his own choice, his actions that night. No one could have predicted it. So you need to let it go, and heal along with Justin; just as much as he does.”

Biting his lip, a tear escaped Brian’s eye as he looked at Justin, who was nodding in agreement. “I’ll try; that’s all that I can promise. It’s...it’s just so fucking hard after, after...” he couldn’t finish his sentence.

Kissing the back of Brian’s hand, Justin smiled a teary smile. “Thank you, that’s all anyone could ask of you. I know It’s hard.”

Once again, Callum leaned on the table. “Actually, I do have a suggestion about how you could get some closure...I’m not sure how receptive to it you will be, or if you will want to do it. But it has worked for others.”

Shifting on his seat, panic ran through Justin’s body, along with a sense of dread for some reason, as he asked, “What is it?”

Taking a breath before speaking, Callum told him, “You get the opportunity in a secure environment to confront Chris Hobbs face-to-face with a cop present. You can ask him why he did what he did, or anything else you feel you have to know. I have treated other patients with situations similar to yours, Justin, and they have obtained some sense of...I’m not sure if ‘satisfaction’ is the right word for it...but by confronting their attackers, it provided them with a way to close the door on the monster that haunts them once and for all, so to speak. It could work for you.”

Brian spat out before Justin could utter a word, “Fuck, no! No way in hell is Justin facing that monster! No fucking way!”

“With all due respect, Brian, is it NOT your decision to make,” Callum reminded him calmly as he turned to study his patient. “Justin?” 

Justin sat frozen, thinking over it. It sent all sorts of thoughts whirling through his head before he finally nodded. “I’ll do it.”

Brian’s head snapped around in stunned disbelief as he peered over at Justin in shock. “What? The fuck you are! He already the cause of your panic attacks and night terrors, Justin! Do you want them to get worse?”

Looking at Brian with tears streaming down his face, Justin shook his head as he told him hoarsely, “No, of course not! But I have to do something, and maybe the doctor’s right! I can’t go on being scared all the time, or afraid to go to sleep, I just can’t! That’s no way to live, Brian!” 

Wiping his eyes and gripping Brian’s hand tightly, Justin looked over at Callum, asking, “Can Brian come with me when I do this?”

Nodding, Callum replied, “Certainly. But Brian, you will not be permitted to speak; you will only be there to support Justin. Can you do that?”

Calming himself down s he realized how much Justin wanted to do this, Brian sighed heavily. “Yeah. Okay. I don’t like it,but if this is something Justin wants to try, then I’ll be there.” He peered into Justin’s eyes as he explained, “We are life partners, after all.”

They left soon afterward, both feeling emotionally drained as they waited to find out when the meeting would take place and leaning on each other, deriving comfort from the contact.

 

Deciding the diner would cheer them up, they made their way there to find the usual gang sitting near the back of the room, laughing and having a good time.

Debbie greeted them as soon as she saw them, ushering them to their usual table near the others. “It’s good to see you boys!” she chirped. “How are you?”

Smiling up at Debbie as he slid into the booth, Justin replied as Brian lifted Gus to sit on his lap. “We’re...we’re doing good, Deb; thank you.” Well, as good as anyone could be under the circumstances, Justin thought silently. He didn’t see the point in discussing what had transpired earlier at the counselor’s office. That would just lead to even more questions that he wasn’t ready to deal with at the moment. 

Squeezing Justin’s shoulder, Debbie seemed to accept his statement at face value as she smiled. “You’re looking good, Sunshine.”

Looking to Brian, she said, patting his cheek, “Good job looking after him, Kiddo; I’m proud of you.” Pulling the pen from behind her ear, she took their orders before scurrying off to wait on some other patrons as the diner began to fill up, both men thankful that for once Debbie hadn’t grilled them extensively like she normally did.

Conversation was kept light, and everyone avoided health issues - Justin’s, in particular - which pleased the guys more than they could say.

 

The call came later that day from Calum’s office, informing them that the meeting had been set up for the next day when an opening had unexpectedly occurred due to a last-minute cancellation. They were both anxious, but relieved in a way; it was better to get it over and done with, rather, they decided, rather than let their nerves be on edge indefinitely. Brian still wasn’t convinced this was a good thing to do; however, he was determined to honor Justin’s wishes, and support him in whatever way that he could.

During the night, a terrible, new vision invaded Justin’s dreams. Instead of the concrete maze, he found himself in one made of mirrors. Wandering around, the sinister shadows reflected back at him ten-fold as he made his way forward, his heart pounding in dread; little did he know that he was actually sleepwalking around the loft as the dream continued.

Just like in the last dream, Chris’s footsteps surrounded him before his saw his evil, sneering face appearing in every mirror, over and over and over again in infinity. As the now familiar taunt of ‘‘come out, come out, wherever you are’ rang out, and the monster raised his bat to swing it at him, he heard the glass in the mirrors breaking, the sound reverberating all around him as splintered into a tiny, million pieces, and he could feel blood inexplicably trickling through his fingers. He didn’t realize that sometime during his nocturnal wandering, he had picked up a glass from the kitchen counter, and had been holding it in his hand. 

The sound of the glass Justin had been holding in his hand shattering onto the hardwood floor instantly awakened Brian like a bolt of lightning as he shot up in bed, his pulse racing when he realized Justin wasn’t there with him. “What the fuck?” 

Brian leapt out of bed, frantically looking for Justin; it didn’t take him to long follow the trail of blood and find him; he was crouched between his desk and the wall in the corner of the room, looking around wildly like he was hiding from a wild beast; in a way, Brian thought that was true. Rushing to get a kitchen towel and wet it, Brian hurriedly wrung it out before hurrying over to his lover carefully, Brian gently touched Justin’s shoulder to get his attention, making him jump. “Shh...it’s okay. It’s just me,” he reassured him softly. 

Justin’s breathing was fast as he hugged his injured hand to his chest, his eyes darting everywhere as if he were looking for someone. “Brian, stay low and stay quiet, or he will hear you and find us!” he whispered urgently.

Gently prying Justin’s hand from his chest to make sure that there was no glass in the wound, he knelt down next to him, wrapping his injured hand in the towel before speaking quietly so he wouldn’t spook him, “There is no one else here. It’s just us and Gus. You were sleepwalking, and it was just a dream, Justin. You are safe, I promise you; you are safe,” he kept murmuring to him.

But Justin wasn’t convinced. Shaking his head wildly, Justin was desperate with worry. “No, Chris Hobbs is here! He’s hiding in the mirrors! I think I got him, but...but I’m not sure.”

It was then Brian realized that the smash he had heard must have been Justin imagining he was hitting a mirror in an effort to get rid of Chris.

Turning Justin’s head to look into his eyes, Brian smiled as he whispered, “Justin, Chris Hobbs is not here. He can’t hurt you anymore, I promise you. Have I ever lied to you before?”

Justin shook his head, but his eyes still scanned the room as if he were checking one last time to be sure. When he heard only the sounds of the familiar, quiet confines of the loft and saw no one else there, Justin’s breathing started to calm down under Brian’s touch as his partner wiped the moisture away from his cheeks. Swallowing, Justin smiled as best he could through his tears. “No, you have never lied to me,” he agreed, before falling into Brian’s arms as he began to sob his heart out, wondering how he had gotten out of bed in the first place, but feeling safe now.

Once Justin had settled down a little more, Brian had a proper look at his hand and was grateful to determine that a butterfly bandage would be sufficient to close up the wound. Under the soft lighting of the bathroom night light a few minutes later, Brian gently cleaned Justin’s injured hand with water and applied an antibiotic cream before bandaging the wound and leading his partner back to bed. Justin continuously watched him with his back against the headboard as Brian cleared up the glass before returning with a strong painkiller and some water, making sure Justin took the medicine before he joined him in bed and holding him until he finally was able to drift off to sleep in his arms. Sighing with concern, Brian lay awake, terrified of the meeting the next day, and wondering if it would make Justin worse or heal him; only time would tell.


	10. The Confrontation with Hobbs

Thankfully, Justin still slept soundly the next morning as Brian fed Gus, who was very happy jiggling up and down in his bouncer.

Brian noticed his phone flashing on the counter as he had muted it so as not to wake up his partner; when he picked it up and noticed the caller I.D., he was surprised to see who it was. “Yeah?” He answered warily. 

“Hi Brian, It’s Melanie.”

Walking over to pick up a toy Gus had dropped for the umptheenth time now - that seemed to be his son’s favorite game now - he held his cell in the crook of his neck as he gave it back to his giggling child. “Mel. Is something wrong?” He immediately asked. 

Laughing, Mel replied, “No, nothing’s wrong,” she assured him, not surprised he would think so. “I figured that I owed you a call. I’m guessing Lind’s already told you of our plans about asking you and Justin to take on Gus full time?”

Sitting on the mat next to Gus in his bouncer, Brian confirmed, “Yeah, she did, but I did wonder if you were really on board with it; let’s face it, you were never my biggest fan.”

Sighing Mel admitted, “I know. But even though we never see eye-to-eye on most things, when it comes to Gus, even I can see how much you love him, and what a good dad you are to him.” 

Brian’s eyes widened at her admission. He never thought he would ever hear her say that, but he was pleased nonetheless. 

Mel revealed, “We already have the paperwork ready to be signed, giving you and Justin full custody. “It also requests a name change to Taylor-Kinney.”

Brian sat bolt upright in shock at hearing that. “Are you serious? You want to legally change his name to ours?”

Smiling into the phone at the happiness she heard in Brian’s voice, Mel verified, “Yes, we are serious. It's only right. We know that you will both do an amazing job of raising him.”

Letting out a long breath, Brian’s voice was choked with emotion as he told her, “You have no idea how good that news is. It’s going to be a hell of a day, so this news couldn’t have come at a better time.” 

Mel frowned, worried that it had something to do with Gus. “What do you mean?” 

Rubbing his hand over his face, Brian sighed. “Linds didn’t tell you about the episode he had?”

Mel gasped in concern. She had always had a soft spot for Justin. “Justin? What kind of episode? Is he okay?”

Shaking his head, Brian replied, “He threw up his tablet along with some of his food, and didn’t realize it. And now, he’s going to have a confrontation with that fucker who hit him with the bat, Chris Hobbs.” He snorted. “The therapist thinks it might help him with closure, whatever the hell that means. Some sort of victim impact support shit. I think it might be a big mistake. But if the therapist thinks it might help, then I have to trust his judgment. He’s coming into the guy’s office this morning, and I’m sitting in on it. But only as a witness; I’m not allowed to say anything. It’s strictly between Justin and him. And by the way, do NOT say anything to Justin or anyone else about it. That’s up to him to decide how much he wants or doesn’t want to say about it.” 

Mel’s voice shook with anger. “Are you fucking serious? Will Justin be able to cope with that?”

Brian rubbed his face as he once again picked up the toy, giving it back to Gus, “I don’t know, but we’ve got to try something. These night terrors are destroying him.”

They concluded their phone call shortly after discussing Gus and how he was doing, with Mel giving them her best and wishing them luck with the therapy session today.. She was very pleased to hear that he was happy and oblivious to the drama taking place regarding Justin, and relieved that she would still be able to visit with him.

 

Justin woke shortly thereafter, feeling groggy liked he always did after taking his stronger painkillers. Making his way to the kitchen area, he was greeted by two smiling faces.

Coming around the counter, Brian gave Justin a good morning kiss. “Morning, Sunshine. How is the hand?”

Smiling at Brian but wincing at his hand, he leaned his head on Brian’s shoulder. “Morning,” he murmured as he admitted, “It’s throbbing a bit, but I’ll be okay.” He pulled back to look into Brian’s eyes, a little embarrassed as he told him, “I’m really sorry about last night and breaking your mirror. I didn’t know what I was doing.”

Rubbing his hand up and down Justin’s back, Brian leaned his head on Justin’s. “Don’t worry about the mirror. I was just worried about you.”

With one last kiss, Justin made his way over to Gus and was rewarded with a happy giggle as he tickled his little belly. “Morning Gus! Did you sleep well?” He laughed softly as Gus promptly threw his squeaky toy onto the ground, and he obligingly picked it up before rising to his feet. But inside his stomach was in knots as he anticipated the day ahead of him. 

Sensing his partner’s anxiety, Brian came up behind Justin, wrapping his arms around him from behind as they looked down at Gus. “It’s going to be okay, Sunshine,” he told him softly. “You know you don’t have to do this,” he reminded him, still not sure it was a good idea himself. “There’s still time to back out.”

Turning around in Brian’s arms Justin looked at him with strong determination as he shook his head. “I want to do this, I need to. Honestly, I can’t live my life in fear of that fucker, or any other asshole like him who doesn’t happen to agree with who I am or who I love.”

Kissing Justin once more Brian held him close, forehead to forehead with their eyes closed, feeling pride and love welling up inside of him over Justin’s words. “Then we will do this together,” he promised him. “I’ll support you in anyway you need.”

It wasn’t long after their breakfast had ended and they had gotten dressed that Debbie arrived to look after Gus while they went to their meeting.

Debbie looked in awe at the section of the loft they had created for Gus. “Wow, boys! This is beautiful! I didn’t know that you were doing this.”

Putting on his coat, Brian shrugged his shoulders. “Nothing but the best for our son.”

Patting his cheek, Debbie smiled at him. “You are a brilliant dad; no wonder Gus is always so happy with you.”

Walking over to Justin, she fixed his coat like a mom would do for her kid as she cautioned him, “Sunshine, you be careful, okay? Don’t give him any power over you. Show him what you are made of. I’m so proud of you for doing this. And don’t worry; your secret is safe with me.”

Smiling at Debbie, Justin ducked his head. “Thanks, Deb. I promise to stay strong.”

Watching them leave, Debbie held Gus in her arms as she told him softly, “Your daddies are the bravest people I know.”

 

Parking outside the building, Brian took Justin’s hand in his. “You sure you want to do this? It’s still not too late to change your mind.”

Looking at Brian, Justin nodded as he held onto tightly to his partner’s hand. “I’m sure. I want to do this,” he assured him. 

With one last squeeze of Justin’s hand, the two disembarked from the car and entered the building to face the evil that had haunted both of them since the night of the Prom.

 

Justin sat side by side with Brian as Chris Hobbs sat down on the other side of the table. No one spoke for what seemed to be a very long time until Justin was the first to break the awkward silence. 

Speaking just above a whisper, he asked, “Why? Why did you do what you did to me?”

Chris swallowed as he fidgeted uncomfortably in his seat. He shrugged. “I don’t know; fear, hate, anger. I think on some level jealousy, I guess.”

Looking shocked, Justin snapped, “Jealousy? Have you any idea what your jealousy or whatever else you felt has done to me?”

Chris shook his head. “No.”

Speaking in a very impassioned tone, Justin told him, “I was in a coma for ages, and I am still rehab now for my hand. I have night terrors so bad that last night in my sleep I smashed a mirror, thinking you were there trying to finish the job. My hand shakes uncontrollably at times, and I may never have full use of it again. To add to the list, I have to take anti-seizure medication, but I still suffered a major spell the other day. If it hadn’t been for Brian, I might have died! You have ruined my life, Chris! The only good things in my life are Brian and Gus. If it wasn’t for them, I would have done something stupid a long time ago”

Tracing the table with his finger, Chris didn’t look up after hearing that.

Justin slammed his hand on the table, startling them all. “Look up at me, dammit! Don’t be a fucking coward!”

Brian sat quietly in observance, feeling very proud of how Justin was handling it all. It was, however, hard to stay silent,, but a promise was a promise, and he was keeping it. But it didn’t stop him from throwing dagger looks over at Hobbs, making the monster afraid to look at him.

Chris jumped in reaction to Justin’s demand as he finally lifted his eyes to peer over at him. “I’m sorry! I really am fucking sorry! I never should have done any of that shit that I did to you. I AM a coward; you’re right. You are the brave one,” he admitted, defeated.

Looking puzzled, Justin asked, “How am I the brave one?”

Chris sighed as he explained, “You are not afraid to be who you are. You didn’t give a shit about dancing with a guy at the prom, or kissing him and laughing at him with a smile. You didn’t care; you just looked so happy. I wanted that, but I was too scared to go after it. I’m not brave like you are. I never have been.” 

Sitting back in shock, Justin had to make sure he was hearing him right. “You wanted that? So you are gay.” Ever since that day in the locker room, he had certainly suspected it. 

Nodding, Chris whispered, “I am...but If my family ever found out, I may as well just put a bullet in my head and be done with it.”

Shaking his head, Justin crossed his arms over his chest. “It's still no excuse for doing what you did to me. You should go live your life for you, and no one else, Chris. Living a lie about who you really are is not healthy and is a damn shame. You will never be happy that way.”

Laughing Chris looked at Justin sadly. “Do I look happy to you, Taylor? I wish I could, but it will never happen. You’re right, though; it was no excuse.”

Looking deep into Justin’s eyes, Chris spoke again. “I really hope that you can forgive me. I truly am sorry for what I did to you.”

Thinking for a moment, Justin leaned across the table, holding out his hand for Chris to shake.

Brian and Chris looked at each other in shock, with Brian holding his breath, waiting to see what would happen.

Chris stood and took the offered hand as Justin said, “I forgive you, Chris.”

The ride home to the loft was quiet. But Brian had never felt so proud of anyone in his life as he did at that moment when Justin had actually forgiven Hobbs. Hobbs had been right; Justin had always been a stronger man than he was - or would ever be.


	11. The New Family

That night Justin slept better than he had in a very long time. Instead of night terrors, his dreams were filled with something beautiful. He and Brian were on a private beach, making love as the sun set behind them; yes, this dream was a really good one.

The next few days passed in a blur. Brian had no choice but to do some work on his computer, while Justin entertained Gus, which he was happy to do since he and Brian’s son had a deep bond between them, and he always enjoyed spending time with the boy who reminded him so much of his lover. 

Brian delighted in watching them and hearing the happy sounds that they generated. To see that pure, open smile on Justin’s beautiful face was simply amazing.

Gus had just drifted off for his midday nap when Justin came over to stand behind Brian, who was sitting at his computer. Wrapping his arms around his lover, he asked, “Is everything okay back at the office?”

Leaning back into Justin’s embrace, Brian replied, “Yeah, everything's fine. It’s just cleaning up some boards, nothing major.”

Kissing the top of Brian’s head, Justin asked, “Are you ready for Lindsay and Mel’s visit today to sign the papers? I think they’re bringing that lawyer, Terrance Brown, to witness it.”

Letting out a whistle of appreciation on hearing the name, Brian looked up at Justin. “How did they get him? He’s one of the best in the city.”

Shrugging his shoulders as he still held onto Brian, he shook his head. “I don’t know. I think Mel said that she went to law school with him or something.”

Turning to pull Justin into his lap, Brian kissed him deeply for several seconds before he released him slightly to reply, “However they got him, he will make sure all the paperwork will be okay, and our domestic partnership papers will be signed as well.”

Leaning his head on Brian’s shoulder, Justin smiled into his neck. “I can’t believe we are doing this, and we’ll both be listed as parents for Gus. All of this is like a dream...but this time it’s a good dream. A wonderful dream.”

Closing his eyes and enjoying the warmth of his sunshine in his arms, Brian assured him, “It’s not a dream, It’s real. Me, you, and Gus are going to forever be a happy family.”

Lifting his head eyes that were now shining with happiness, Justin kissed Brian tenderly. “I’m going to love being part of this family.” 

Smiling wider now, Brian brushed his lips over Justin’s. “I’m going to love it, too. I think that we need to find a house - after all, a kid needs space to play - a garden...and maybe even a dog - with my approval as to breed, of course.” No frou-frou poodle for him, he decided. They needed a man’s dog.

Cupping Brian’s face in his hands, Justin was amazed at the emotions this man made him feel. “You, Brian Kinney, have just blown my mind. Never would I have thought one day that you would say all of this...but I’m so happy to do this with you.”

Smirking a mischievous smile, Brian wiggled his eyebrows. “I can blow more than your mind, if we have time.”

Unfortunately, that was the time that the buzzer sounded, signalling that the girls and the attorney had arrived. 

Groaning, Brian dropped his head onto Justin’s shoulder. “Fucking Munchers; they sure have bad timing.”

Sliding off Brian’s lap with a laugh, Justin kissed him once more, giving him a ‘behave’ look before he pressed the button to allow the three visitors to enter the building; a couple of minutes later, a knock sounded on the loft door as he went to answer it. “Hi, Lindsay, Mel, Mr Brown; please come in”

As they entered, both women gave Justin a kiss on the cheek as the two men exchanged a handshake. 

The girls spotted the corner created for Gus right away; it was Lindsay who was the first to speak, “Oh my God, this is beautiful! I had no clue you did all of this. I thought it was just a cot that you guys bought.”

Mel ran her hand over the smooth wood of the bed. “This is really beautiful work; it looks like a Charles Day creation.”

Brian joined them, laughing upon hearing what Mel said. “Actually, it is one of his designs.”

Smiling at him, then down at a sleeping Gus, Mel replied, “You have great taste. Gus looks really comfortable.”

Gazing down at his son, Brian smiled fondly at him while chuckling. “That’s a big understatement. He loves it! We practically had to pry him out of it at the furniture store when he was trying it out.”

Moving to the table, everyone sat down to review the paperwork while Gus slept soundly. The process went a lot faster and easier than they had expected with Terrence’s help explaining anything they didn’t understand, or providing necessary clarifications.

Lindsay and Mel were shocked when the domestic partnership papers came out, but they were also very happy for the guys as well.

To Justin’s surprise, Brian pulled a ring box out of his pocket, opening it up to reveal two white gold bands.

Gasping, Justin looked at Brian. “Brian, are you sure? I mean, really? We get to wear rings?”

Smiling, Brian placed the ring on Justin’s ring finger, kissing it as he told him softly, “Forever.”

Justin’s hand shook as he placed the other ring on Brian’s finger, repeating the same gesture as he, too, vowed, “Forever.”

Lindsay, Mel and Terrence shed a tear at the beautiful moment in front of them.

Mel then joked, “You do realize that when Debbie and Jennifer find out that they missed this, they are going to kill you, right?”

Laughing, Brian still Justin’s hand that held the ring in his as he told her, “Don’t worry; we will do something that will include all of our family and friends.”


	12. Some Well-Deserved Happiness

Justin sat crossed legged on the bed with Gus sitting in front of him, playing with the ring on Justin’s finger.

Smiling down at Gus, Justin playfully said, “See what your daddy gave me? Isn’t it beautiful, Gus?”

Gus squealed in delight. At his age, he really had no idea of the significance, but like all children his age, he was fascinated by the shininess. 

Brian had just stepped out of the shower and stood just out of view, listening to them chattering away, then he could hear Justin singing to Gus again. This time the song was ‘The Wheels On The Bus.’ Laughing, Brian peered around the door to watch, and saw not only was he singing to Gus, but moving his son’s arms in time to the song.

Half way through the song, Justin looked up, feeling eyes on him. “Hey. come join us, Daddy! Let’s sing it again, right, Gus? “The Wheels On The Bus Go Round And Round, Round And Round, Round And Round, The Wheels On The Bus Go Round And Round All Day Long.”

Sitting on the bed next to the pair, Brian laughed, kissing them both. “You are just as big a kid as Gus, aren’t you?”

Tickling Gus and making him laugh, Justin’s eyes were full of amusement as he admitted, “Yep...and you love it.”

Kissing Justin again and his eyes sparkling with love, Brian replied softly, “You know that I do, Sunshine...and I love YOU.” Just then the phone rang, interrupting their family moment.

Groaning, Brian moved from the bed to answer the phone. “Yeah?”

Chuckling, Cynthia replied, “Morning to you, too, Brian.” 

Sitting down, Brian shook his head “Yada, yada; what’s on your mind, Oh Great One?”

Grinning and rolling her eyes, Cynthia informed him, “Brian, I need you in the office for an hour or so. Eric Warner turned up a week early for his meeting. He is very sorry, but his intern mixed up putting the date on his planner, and he can’t come in next week because he’s flying to New Zealand.”

Rubbing his face and sighing, Brian glanced over at Justin and Gus, disappointed he couldn’t stay with them, but certain that they would fine for a little bit. “Okay, I’ll be in soon. I just got out of the shower, so keep him entertained for a while until I can get dressed and drive in.” He disconnected the call with a scowl; an expression Justin immediately noticed as he headed back into the bathroom to retrieve a towel to dry himself with. 

Justin looked up as he returned to the bedroom. “Everything okay?”

Shaking his head, Brian explained about the mix up. “So, will and Gus be okay for an hour or so? I’ll be back as soon as I can.” 

Hugging Gus close and kissing his cheek, Justin smiled as he reassured him, “We’ll be fine, won’t we, little man?” Gus responded dutifully with a sort of cooing noise, making both men smile. 

Getting dressed and gathering what he needed, Brian kissed them both goodbye before heading off to the office.

 

Approximately 30 minutes later, Cynthia greeted him as she took his coat. “Eric is in your office; he was very apologetic. He was fine with the wait, especially since it was his assistant’s fault,” she confirmed. 

Straightening his tie, Brian nodded at her. “Thanks,” he told her simply as she nodded back at him with a smile, knowing he valued her more than he normally expressed. Over the years, Cynthia had come to be a trusted employee as well as a friend, so she knew there was more in that one word than some people said in an entire speech.

Entering his office, he saw that Eric was being kept company by Ted, who had him laughing at whatever they were discussing.

Seeing Brian, Eric stood up as he held up his hand. “I’m truly sorry for the mix up,” Brian,” he told him. “I hope that it wasn’t too much squeezing me in at the last minute.” 

Shaking his hand back, he assured him politely, “Not at all. I’m always flexible for you, Eric.” If Brian had learned one thing as an advertising ace, it was to always make time for his most important clients, and this one was the owner of a multi-million dollar company. 

Ted stood up to leave, “Well...I best get back to work,” he told Eric as Brian followed him to the door, needing to give him some last-minute instructions about another client. 

“Eric, I’ll be right back,” he told the other man, who nodded. Brian partially closed the door behind him as he talked to Ted about some foam boards for another client that he wanted tweaked by the art department. 

“Sure, I’ll let them know,” Ted told him as Brian nodded. He paused for a moment before asking in almost a whisper so as not to be overheard, “How’s Justin?” 

Brian told him with a slight smile, “He’s doing better; thank you.”

Ted nodded and was about to leave when he noticed the ring on Brian’s finger. His eyes widening in shock, he couldn’t help asking, “Holy shit! Brian...did you...and Justin…?” 

His face warming over the attention, but knowing it was inevitable by wearing the ring, Brian nodded but added. “Yes. But to NOT breathe a word of this to anyone until we tell Debbie and Jennifer. You hear me? Or they will kill us...and then I will have to kill YOU.” Ted knew he was joking, but he definitely understood as he made a locking motion over his lips. 

“My lips are sealed,” he assured him. But can I at least say congratulations to you both?” 

Smiling proudly. Brian accepted Ted’s handshake as he replied sincerely, “Thank you, Theodore. Now go get some work done. I’m certainly paying you an obscene enough amount to do it.”

Grinning, Ted shook his head and he turned and headed down the hallway toward the art department. 

 

A few minutes later, Brian and his client were deep into discussion about how to best promote three new stores of Eric’s company; a task that would result in a lot of money for Kinnetik, so Brian was more than pleased that he had taken the time to meet with him. 

Having known Brian as a friend as well as business colleague for years now, Eric felt comfortable enough after their official business was over to ask, “Brian, you seem kind of preoccupied or worried about something, if you don’t me saying. Is something wrong?” 

Sighing deeply, and knowing that whatever he said to Eric would go no further, he explained briefly about Justin and what had happened to him, concluding with, “Justin’s come a long way to a certain extent. But I think we need to get out of Pittsburgh for a while; I think it would do him a lot of good to just be somewhere else for a change.” 

“Well, I can certainly understand that, and I think it would be a good idea,” he agreed. “I have an idea! I have a house in the Cayman Islands that’s located right on the ocean with a private beach. It would offer you total seclusion. I can have my jet take you there whenever you like, and there’s a car I keep at the house that you could use to go wherever you need. Why don’t you and Justin head down there for a couple of weeks?” 

Brian’s mouth dropped open at the offer. “Seriously?: he asked as Eric nodded. That sounds perfect! God, we need this so much; I don’t know what to say, Eric, except thank you.” 

Going around the desk Eric patted Brian’s shoulder, “Go enjoy son. I’ll call ahead and have stock up with food and everything freshen the place up for you, just let me know when you want to go”

Feeling Emotional Brian swallowed, “How about this Friday, I can arrange for someone to look after Gus while we are gone”

Smiling now Eric moved off, “Perfect, I’ll make all the arrangements, just go and enjoy it”

Brian got back to the loft just in time for dinner and both his boys were still smiling.

Kissing Justin, Brian spoke, “Have a surprise for you, we are leaving on Friday to go to a private beach in the Camion Islands, thanks to Eric”

Justin looked at Brian in shock, “What, oh my god, that will be amazing. What about Gus?”

Kissing his son Brian said. “I already call Nana Deb, she said no problem. She will be moving in here to look after him for the two or three weeks that we are gone. So after dinner get packing, we leave on Friday”

The Camion Islands were breathtaking, the clean air, blue sky and that amazing water was like nothing they had ever seen.

They did everything that the Island had to offer from exploring the Island to snorkeling. What they loved the most was the private beach, their own patch of paradise.

Brian sat bedside Justin on a blanket on the sand watching the gentle waves chuckling.

Looking at Brian, Justin asked, What’s so funny”

Waving at the water still chuckling, “Just remembering our first night here and you shedding your clothes racing to the water shouting skinny dipping”

Laughing now Justin bumped Brian’s shoulder, “It was fun though all naked and kissing touching while the water touched us”

Leaning over Brian kissed Justin, “It sure was sunshine”

Gazing into Brian’s eyes Justin asked in a husky voice, “Make love to me Brian”

His heart was pounding in his chest at hearing those words come from Justin, Brian asked, “Are you sure”

Cupping Brain’s face in his hand rubbing his thumb over those lips he loved, Justin smiled, “I’m sure, I’m ready”

Lying on the blanket as the sun set they made love so tenderly and sweet, like two dancers in that perfect dance with the most beautiful backdrop surrounding them painting the sky just for them.

Now curled up together looking out into the water Justin realized his dream that he had just came true and it was even better then the dream itself.

Once Justin was a sleep in Brian's arms he let the tear of joy fall. Placing a feather light kiss to the back of his blond head he sung making the words fit for them, “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You never know dear how much I love you. No one will take my sunshine away”

Curling around his lover Brian drifted off to sleep. No one know what the future held but as long as they were together and happy that is all that mattered.

The End....or is it?


End file.
